Saturday, March 28, 2009

2005

Opium '05
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Story

What I Really Want For Christmas- Please, Santa, Make It Stop!
by Elizabeth Koch and , 12.23.05
Day to Day
by David  Conway, 12.9.05
How to Bury a Cat
by Ryan  Havely, 12.8.05
Fake Fish
by Dave  Lott, 12.6.05
A Remembrance of Za Past
by Quincy  Swift, 11.30.05
Beat Me Flat
by Luke  Evans, 11.29.05
What You Can't Get You Don't Keep
by Cheryl  Chambers, 11.22.05
Incarceration
by Greg Ames, 11.16.05
A Business Case for Love
by Tom  Conoboy, 11.15.05
New Again
by Pia Z. Ehrhardt, 11.15.05
Three Sawn-Off Tales
by David  Gaffney, 11.10.05
Classified
by Grant Bailie, 11.9.05
My Hurricane, Sarah
by Will  Layman, 11.3.05
Dream of You In a Cowboy Hat
by Joshua  Booth, 11.1.05
Rock Booker: Two-Fisted Literary Detective!
by Dale  Dobson, 10.28.05
A Walk Down Easy Street
by Sona  Avakian, 10.26.05
Naked Hour
by Jillian  Lauren, 10.19.05
Why I'm an Editor and You Still Live with Your Mom
by Jamie  Zerndt, 10.18.05
In Re: Lawyerboy
by Jon Alan Carroll, 10.7.05
Everyone Has Their Own Shangri-La
by Patti  Jazanoski, 10.3.05
Grants Awarded to Cats, 2005
by Violet  Glaze, 9.30.05
The Pounder
by Gabriel  Welsch, 9.29.05
Catalog Descriptions for New Products from the Inventors of the Mach Three Triple Razor Blade
by Justin  Kahn, 9.27.05
Comments of a Bitter 39 Year-Old Divorced Man to Two Young Lovers Saturday Morning in a Diner
by Jonathan  Coony, 9.23.05
Sub-Zero
by Ellen  Meister, 9.22.05
Canadian Quarter
by John  Valentino, 9.20.05
Swedish Koans
by Michael  Fowler, 9.13.05
Randy Describes Eternity to My Little Brother
by CL  Bledsoe, 8.29.05
Animus
by Steve  Gullion, 8.25.05
A Job to Die For
by Jonah  Ansell, 8.24.05
Yes, I Totally Spaced Telling You About That Lair in My Basement
by John  Jodzio, 8.24.05
Corman
by Brent  Powers, 8.23.05
Old Enough To Know Better
by Kevin  O'Cuinn, 8.18.05
Fly Casting
by Robin  Slick, 8.11.05
Invitation
by Heather  Kelley, 8.9.05
Calling in Sick
by Jeff  Haas, 8.8.05
Vows
by Brady  Bergeson, 7.19.05
Sizzle
by Lisa  Dyer, 7.15.05
My Childhood Friend
by Gene  Morgan, 7.14.05
My March 26 Phone Conversation With My Mother After the Birth of My Sister's Baby
by Christine  Champagne, 7.11.05
Brass Band
by Kim  Chinquee, 7.6.05
Man of the House
by Clay McLeod Chapman, 6.30.05
The Tumbleweed's Usurper
by Ben  Fortenberry, 6.28.05
Lobster Girl
by Alicia  Gifford, 6.23.05
Three Brief Conversations Between a Girl Named Z and a Cynical Narrator
by Alan  Jepsen, 6.6.05
Bugs
by Clint  Meadows, 6.3.05
This Month in the American Press
by Barrett  Brown, 6.2.05
Meantime Pudding
by M.A.  Internicola, 5.26.05
Beavis, Homer and Bugs: A Haiku Trilogy
by Ivan  O'Uris, 5.24.05
In the Grand Tradition
by Case  Miller, 5.23.05
Reflections On My Old Departing Toys
by Wayne  Gladstone, 5.19.05
The Diary of Gordon Gulliford: Bear and Chain
by C.J.  Kershner, 5.16.05
Two Tents
by Chris  Granger, 5.13.05
Papal Denunciations
by Matthew  St. Amand, 5.11.05
Second Greyhound to Portland
by Nadine  Darling, 5.5.05
Acknowledgments
by Angela  Genusa, 5.2.05
You Won't Feel a Thing
by Kevin  O'Cuinn, 4.27.05
The Reason We Were So Afraid
by Anthony  Tognazzini, 4.20.05
Denial in Triangle
by Jordan E. Rosenfeld, 4.19.05
Two Fleas in Zero Mostel's Hair
by John  Tolley, 4.18.05
Creation Myth Comparison
by G. Xavier Robillard, 4.12.05
My Penis Dream
by Will  Layman, 4.11.05
Arabic
by F.S.  Symons, 4.7.05
Ghandi Was From New Jersey
by Rick  Stoeckel, 4.5.05
Monkey, Get Off My Back
by Christopher  Monks, 3.31.05
Pay Hurts
by Matthew  Rorem, 3.24.05
A Conversation Between Bacon and Eggs
by Cami  Park, 3.22.05
The Wedding Reception
by Kristopher  Jansma, 3.21.05
The Dead
by Grant Bailie, 3.16.05
Special K and the Yorkshire Terrier
by Adam  Maxwell, 3.2.05
Instructions While I'm on Vacation
by Jonathan  Stern, 3.1.05
Nigella Lawson Cooks My Dinner
by Mike  Schramm, 2.24.05
The Relevance of Baseball
by Carol  Novack, 2.23.05
Some Tips to Remember
by James  Connelly, 2.18.05
Roop
by Kyle  Simonsen, 2.17.05
Heat
by Laine  Perry, 2.16.05
Yellow Bow Tie
by Darby  Larson, 2.15.05
Paul
by CL  Bledsoe, 2.14.05
Magically Delicious
by J.R.  Salling, 2.10.05
The Mystery of Michael Landon
by J.M.  Becker, 2.7.05
Bounce
by Jon  Swan, 2.2.05
Purduvian Thanksgiving Macabre
by Tom Fugalli, 1.31.05
Equation
by Rachel Demma , 1.28.05
A Changing of the Guard
by Randall  DeVallance , 1.14.05
A Career Procrastinator
by Jeff  Haas, 1.12.05
Big Tom Looks at Alice
by Girija Tropp, 1.10.05
A Story About A Boy and His Dog
by Wayne  Gladstone, 1.7.05
Room
by Peggy M. Price, 1.5.05
Santa Had Some Horrible Dreams
by John  Leary, 1.2.05
----

Poetry

My Brother is Vacationing on a Mountain with His Girlfriend and I Found Out from My Dad
by Tao  Lin, 12.20.05
Two More Poems
by Ryan  Bird, 12.12.05
Silent Letters
by Sam  Pereira, 12.7.05
Moving On
by C.M.  Evans, 10.21.05
Three Poems
by Gene  Morgan, 9.26.05
Two Poems
by Kim Schroder, 9.21.05
9/11/03 (to Debra P.)
by Russell  Bittner, 9.11.05
My Son the Rock Star
by Oliver  Conant, 8.24.05
Three Poems
by Tao  Lin and , 8.15.05
According to the Map
by C. Allen Rearick, 7.27.05
Two (Other) Poems
by K.R.  Copeland, 7.12.05
Homeless
by Skip  Zilla, 7.5.05
Two Poems
by Ryan  Bird, 7.1.05
Did You Paint That?
by Jamie  Zerndt, 6.22.05
Two Poems
by Ty Harvey, 6.14.05
Spring Break
by Tao  Lin, 6.7.05
Ode to the Strong
by R.A.  Lubow, 5.25.05
Beavis, Homer and Bugs: A Haiku Trilogy
by Ivan  O'Uris, 5.24.05
Red #40
by Cathy  Erway, 5.20.05
Coaching Inspiration
by Jason  Huskey, 5.17.05
The Head of Don Zimmer
by Mark E. Hayes, 5.11.05
Two Poems
by Jane Adam, 4.4.05
Vale
by Oliver  Conant, 4.1.05
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Art

Air Pocket
by C.M.  Evans, 12.14.05
Dirt
by Neil Brideau, 12.7.05
Intelligent Design
by Porter McDonald, 11.30.05
Wine
by Darby Hudson, 11.17.05
Bobby's Grave
by C.M.  Evans, 11.9.05
Genius
by Neil Brideau, 11.2.05
Seventh Day
by Porter McDonald, 10.28.05
You Are Strange
by Darby Hudson, 10.20.05
His Sovereign Royal Excellence
by C.M.  Evans, 10.13.05
Dreams
by Neil Brideau, 10.6.05
Staring Problem
by Porter McDonald, 9.29.05
Life Spark
by Darby Hudson, 9.21.05
Friendship
by Neil Brideau, 8.31.05
Automobile
by Darby Hudson, 8.26.05
Hot Dog
by C.M.  Evans, 8.17.05
Back in the Day
by C.M.  Evans, 8.17.05
Superhero Parody
by Darby Hudson, 8.10.05
Baseball Strike
by C.M.  Evans, 7.28.05
Appreciation
by Porter McDonald, 7.21.05
Car Door
by Darby Hudson, 7.14.05
Real Estate
by C.M.  Evans, 7.7.05
Pull My Finger
by Porter McDonald, 6.30.05
Fishing
by C.M.  Evans, 6.1.05
A Bet's a Bet
by Porter McDonald, 5.13.05
Clothes Sniff
by Darby Hudson, 4.28.05
Up to No Good
by C.M.  Evans, 4.14.05
Spa Toilet
by Darby Hudson, 4.7.05
Sitting
by C.M.  Evans, 3.24.05
Bubblewrap
by Darby Hudson, 3.17.05
Pop!
by Porter McDonald, 3.11.05
Dang, It's Cold Out
by Porter McDonald, 3.11.05
Chateubriand's Paintings
by C.M.  Evans, 3.3.05
Passwords
by Darby Hudson, 2.23.05
Tastes Like Almonds
by Porter McDonald, 2.17.05
More Car Trouble
by C.M.  Evans, 2.10.05
Picasso
by Darby Hudson, 2.4.05
Three Pieces
by Terry Rentzepis, 1.17.05
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Music

Rock Wig
by John H. Matthews, 11.8.05
Noveselic's Got a Brand New Tashna
by Joe  O'Neill, 9.14.05
Neil Diamond's Hair Needs to Talk
by Jason Lathrop, 8.30.05
The Lesser of Two Elvis
by John H. Matthews, 7.27.05
Left Bank, Right Bank Eyes and Eyes
by Kevin  Dolgin, 7.8.05
The Stage
by Kevin  Dolgin, 2.21.05
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Film/TV

Six Things Andy Never Said In Mayberry
by Scott Leslie, 11.12.05
Reinvention: Keanu Reeves
by Josh Maday, 11.4.05
Life with Fathers
by Lydia Fazio Theys, 10.27.05
Jimmy Stewart: It's A Wonderful Sandwich
by Mike Jones, 10.20.05
Fashion Victims No. 91, Case Notes: Jahn and Jan
by Tyler Coburn, 10.4.05
Cult-O-Rama ®
by J.D. Riso, 7.21.05
I Usually Don't DoThis
by Sarah Walker, 6.27.05
If Yogi Berra Were Yoda
by Will  Layman, 6.1.05
Live! with Aqua Regia and Kelly
by Vince  LiCata, 5.6.05
Speculative Titles of John Hughes Movies Had They Been Directed by Leni Riefenstahl
by Joe  O'Neill, 2.28.05
----

Tech

Rent My Couch
by Lilly  Kuwashima, 4.28.05
The "Sent Items" Folder of Roger, Who Answers All His E-Mail
by Chris  Osmond and Will Layman, 3.15.05
And Yet Between Haircuts
by Steven J. Mexal, 2.11.05
----

Sport

New Olympic Exhibition Sport Debuts
by Violet  Glaze, 11.23.05
Soxtober!
by Dan  Leahy, 10.8.05
How Canadians Are Dealing with the Hockey Lockout
by Joe  O'Neill, 5.4.05
Twenty Years Later: My Heartbreaking Run-In with the George Michael Sports Machine
by Tony  Antoniadis, 3.11.05
----

Interview

The Have-You-Heard-of-Bruce Bauman Interview
by Susan  Henderson, 7.7.05
An Interview with American Humorist, Calvin Trillin
by Diana  Grove, 6.13.05
----

Review

Pound's "On Biochemistry" Textbook, 5th Edition
by Vince  LiCata, 12.15.05
Movie Reviews V: Walk the Line
by Angela  Lovell, 12.5.05
Movie Reviews IV: Shopgirl
by Angela  Lovell, 11.2.05
The Beer Aficionado Unmasks the "Summer Beer" Conspiracy
by Larry  Joseloff, 8.16.05
Movie Reviews III!
by Angela  Lovell, 5.27.05
Reviews of Countries: Mali
by John  Leary, 4.29.05
The Beer Aficionado Reviews the Sam Adams Legacy
by Larry  Joseloff, 4.15.05
Movie Reviews II!
by Angela  Lovell, 4.8.05
March 13th
by Grant Bailie, 3.25.05
The Beer Aficionado Sips--No, Guzzles--Barley Wines
by Larry  Joseloff, 3.17.05
Movie Reviews!
by Angela  Lovell, 3.7.05
The Warmelle 3000
by Diana  Grove, 2.25.05
Torrefazione Peanut Butter Cookies
by Claire  Zulkey, 2.18.05
The Peace Between Our Companies, Happy Apple (Sunnyside Records, 2005)
by Will  Layman, 2.11.05
The Beer Aficionado's Seasonal Choices
by Larry  Joseloff, 2.4.05
----

.live!

Dear Santa
by Elizabeth Koch and , 12.28.05
Basta Cosi
by Michelle  Orange, 12.13.05
Broken Enter
by Shya  Scanlon, 12.5.05
Three (Short) Stories
by Anthony  Tognazzini, 11.16.05
Grand Marshal
by Clay McLeod Chapman, 11.7.05
Four Poems
by Tao  Lin, 10.31.05
Ukrainamerica
by Paul A. Toth, 10.24.05
Love Creeps
by Amanda  Filipacchi, 10.17.05
OpiumMagazine.com: Live: Live from the Opium All-Star Gala by Jonathan Ames
by Amanda  Filipacchi, 10.17.05
The Art of the Deal
by Matthew  St. Amand, 10.10.05
Tales from the Inside
by Angela  Lovell, 8.10.05
The Diary of Gordon Gulliford: Bear and Chain
by C.J.  Kershner, 7.25.05
Italy
by Heather  Kelley, 7.18.05

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